I'm so sick of dating. I hate it. It's just a big mess of feelings, emotions, decisions, highs, and reality checks. And still I somehow continue to like boys. I've given up time and time again, but somehow I still always manage to like a boy again. And why? who really knows? sometimes I think it's just because I like to make things harder on myself. And even though I'm about to go on a mission it's not like I want to completely shut myself out right now. So somehow the boys I want to be deterred by me going on a mission aren't, and the boys I want to like me don't, am I still just choosing the wrong boys to like? Also if I started dating a guy I would put off my mission for them, I mean come on. "I thought my heart had learned it's lesson, it feels so good when you start out, my head is screaming get a grip girl, unless you're dying to cry your heart out". OH MY GOSH. I should be on the show my strange addiction because I have an addiction to dating, boys and drama. I'm supposed to be leaving, why am I even thinking about boys? I don't know maybe it's like that thing when you tell someone not to think about something and then of course they automatically do. Maybe that's what's happening to me. I'm telling myself not to think or worry about boys so I'm just rebelling against myself and am thinking and worrying about boys. I'm just so sick of it all. "Cupid's got a shotgun aiming at my heart, I've been dodging bullet's I've been hiding in the dark, sawed off double barrel trigger happy as can be. Cupid's got a shotgun and he'r pointed it at me." -Carrie Underwood, you know my life too well.
